A Ode to my batchmate who Jizz in his Pants.

The masterpiece written below has been inspired by The Lonely Planet - Jizz in My Pants. If you haven't heard about the song, click here to view the original song.

(Initially)

She said ‘Hi’ on video chat,
I skipped my work and replied "Nice Hat.
Your pic in the blue is really cool,

Can’t talk much, have to study TOOL."

She said, “I can’t understand what you say,

Take that shirt off, you look so Gay,

You do or you don’t there is no try,

It’s just an advice, bachchi don’t cry”

I said, “Don’t get angry, I’m totally yours,

Have stripped the shirt off, closed the door,

Enough for today though there’s more in store”,

And her instant reply was to show her more

And I jizz in my pants

This really never happens, you can take my word
I won't apologize, that's just absurd
Mainly your fault for the way that you talk
And now I jizz in my pants
Don't tell your friends or I'll say you lie
Plus it's your fault, you made me cry,
I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus
Now I'll go to loo and change

(After Break-up)
I need a few books from the library
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heartbroken, not lookin' for love
Surprise in my eyes when I looked above
The checkout counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still, so did time and space
Never thought that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said "I need a friend"
She turned to me, that's when she asked
“Where the heck is your library card?"
And I jizzed in my pants

It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we're going to need a cleanup on aisle 3
And now I'm posed in an awkward stance
Because I jizzed in my pants
To be fair, you were flirting a lot
Plus the way you scan books makes me bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you're not impressed
One more thing, I'm ‘V’ obsessed

(Few days later)
Last week I saw a mail
As I recall it was a google mail
No net in the room, so went to the lawn,
Checked my inbox and there was a mail from Robo-Kaun
And I jizzed in my pants

Was  walking through the MIED, when I saw the prof AKD,
Need to follow him, need to beg for marks,
A room comes on that reminds me of SAE
And I jizz in my pants

The next day, V-Pull sir calls,
And I jizz in my pants

Open my door and Gul-Jar walks in
And I jizz in my pants

When my knight dies in the game of AOE
I jizzed in my pants

I just wrote ‘B’
And I jizzed in my pants

I went to. . .

And I jizzed in my pants
Ok seriously you guys, can we. . . . ok?

I jizz right in my pants
Every time he’s next to me
And when I am in my room,
It’s like the walls are fucking me,
You say I'm premature
I just call it ecstasy
Buying rubber is expensive now
I’ll get a vasectomy
Cuz I jizz in my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants, yes, I jizz in my pants, yes, I jizz in my pants)
Yes I jizz in my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants)

SNASA's C-Rap

This BARNWESOME masterpiece has been inspired by The Lonely Island - Natalie's Rap. To view, Natalie Portman's Uncensored Rap, click here.

In a secret galaxy far far away, lives a gaint, Secret Nasa. He's broad, tall and is a role model.

The C-RAP begins here...

We're sitting here today with Secret Nasa or better known as SNasa
Hello, so SNASA, what's the day
In life of Secret NASA like?
Do you really wanna know? Please, tell us

I only eat motherfucker, can’t you look at me
Doin' one push-ups, and go to sleep
Damn SNasa, you a crazy dude

Yo, shut the fuck up and bring me doodh.

I bust in pizza with xtra-cheese and apple tart  Cover up your fuckin’ nose coz I’m about to fart

What you want, SNASA? To drink and eat
What you need, SNASA? Chicken Wings and meat

Don't wake me when I'm sleeping on that vibrating bed
I’ll kick your ass with my shoe until it turns red.
Leave you screaming, pay my canteen bills
Fuck you man, or you wanna see my other skills

I'm sorry SNASA, but are we to believe you
abuse dhildren?
I never said I was a role model
What about the juniors that think of you as a pornstar?
Do you have a message for them?

All the juniors lookin' up to me can suck my dick
I’m GAY, I’m BI and I like it big

Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry while I laugh you die

And all the chicks you know I'm talkin' to you
We love you SNASA, I wanna fuck you too
S is for SNASA, S is for sex
I'll kill your dog for fun, and will charge entertainment tax.

Well, SNASA I'm surprised
All this from an SIITian
Well, there's a lot you may not know about me
Really? Such as?

When I was in SIIT I licked every senior’s ass
I cheated every test and did projects under every prof
I gotta a perfect ten and you managed only seven
My Dept Rank was one and IR was eleven

SNASA, you are a miser foodie, hell yeah
And I always pay for your canteen bills
And always bought your porn films, what?
And as for the GPLs, well I can vouch for that
My ass is scared of you, boy

Okie-dokie, one final question
If you can steal a smooch from
Any girl in your Campus, who would it?
No more questions, what

-- The Barnacle